A Note on Self Esteem
I've never had a confidence problem. More often than not I can stay in my own lane, be tough and push through any negative criticisms. I was fortunate that High School thickened my skin and taught me to value how I feel about myself regardless of anyone else's opinion. It's a skill that honestly makes me proud of how far I've come.
But, that's not to say that I don't have my moments.
While my problem has never been pushing out thoughts brought on by other people, i've struggled with the pressures that I put on myself. In terms of my career, I took a BIG leap of faith leaving my job a few months ago. And, although it's paying off professionally, being your own "boss" is never easy. Every week there's a new task, project, problem and I'm the ONLY one who can solve it. With that, comes a new flood of high expectations that I put on myself to meet goals. Some days I feel like a BOSS who can take on the world, and others my to-do list makes me feel like I'll never be able to keep up.
I don't have 200,000 followers. I'm not a tech guru, or a website expert for that matter. I don't have pitching 100% figured out. And, I don't have enough hours in the day to accomplish every single blog project that I set my mind to. The truth is, I have TWO businesses. I'm hustling and working as hard as I can to growth them both. And, it's WORKING. Every day i'm training my mind to give myself a little grace.
Learning to take the pressure to be perfect off of myself, to be CONTENT and to be grateful for my current success is a challenge. Controlling my anxiety is a challenge. But, i'm getting there. That said, I'm not doing it alone. My type A personality is A LOT to handle, and I will forever be grateful for a partner who puts my mind to rest. Jordon is blunt and honest, but that's exactly what my hypercritical self needs to improve my self esteem. I can't tell you how many times a day I ask him the same question over a topic that's been stressing me out. And his response is always the same, patience, grace and advice to RELAX.
I don't normally share posts this personal, but I think blogs and social media in general often paint a picture-perfect life filled with no stress or anxiety. And, that just isn't the case. I've spent the past few months really working on shifting my perspective, giving myself a little bit of grace and trying to be grateful for the success i've worked so hard for.
What are your thoughts on self esteem? And, how do you cope with moments of anxiety or fear?
XO,
K